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Five Types of Male-Centered Friends

Friends are amazing. They can fill your life with so many colors. They can encourage you and be your source of support. However, there are types of friendships you should be wary of. They may not seem dangerous, but when a man is involved, this can drastically change. Below are five types of friendships that you should avoid.

1. The friend who embarrasses you to get attention away from you and on them. a. The scene: You’ve been invited to your friend’s house party. There are many attractive guys there and, a couple is interested in you. You all start having a lighthearted conversation about dating. You state that you want a quality guy with a good job and his place. One of your friends giggles and screams aloud with another friend. They are making jokes about your comment to each other. You hear them saying, well she didn’t require that before! Throughout the night there are shady comments aimed at you and you realize that one of your friends is jealous that you are getting attention from someone they like. Though you have no control over this person’s attraction, your friends use it as a reason to be hostile. b. Analysis: Your friend will not change. She is insecure and from her actions, she is not going to fix her insecurities. So, you can either stay friends with her and know that she is untrustworthy and will not like seeing you be the center of attention. Or stop being friends with her and realize that it is hard to be vulnerable and intimidated by someone who is always in competition with you.

2. The friend who changes their personality to be what “he” wants a. The scene: You go on a date with this guy you like. He tells you about his interest during the date. Suddenly, you start talking about yourself and realize that you are lying. Everything he says he likes, you mention it as if it were your idea. You do everything he mentions he likes because on paper he is amazing and you want to be partnered with an amazing man. You want to brag to your friends about your man so, you lie because you want this person who looks so good on paper and in person to commit to you. b. Analysis: If you are looking for a true partnership, where you are loved for who you are, what good does lying do? Not only that, when you like about yourself, you are telling yourself that you aren’t interesting and worthwhile.

3. The friend whose self-esteem is dependent upon attention a. The scene: Your life is built on validation. When you walk outside, you do it in hopes that someone will notice you. When you post a picture, you do so in the hopes that it will get a lot of likes. These things aren’t inherently bad, but they are for you because your self-esteem depends on it. If you aren’t being adored, you think you are the worst person in the world. When you aren’t being fawned over, you think you are ugly. Anytime you have a down moment where it is just you, you fall into a deep depression because you need validation, especially validation from men, to sustain you. b. Analysis: This person is very insecure and they will use anybody to get their fill. You have to be mindful of them because they will cross a boundary and possibly use your partner to get their fill.

4. The friend whose moods are dependent upon his moods a. The Scene: You are in a relationship. Your boyfriend is subsequently in a bad mood. He isn’t upset at you, he is upset with his work. It isn’t anything extreme, he is just a tad bit frustrated with this project. That day your girlfriends planned a brunch, and instead of going to the brunch, you decide to be there for him. He tells you that you don’t have to cancel your brunch, but you do it anyway. You tell your friends that he is upset, and you want to be there for him. They say ok but are disappointed that you completely changed your world based on his emotions. b. Analysis: You’ve made him your life and that never works well for anyone. It doesn’t work because if he leaves for a short trip, or forever, you won’t have anything to do. Instead, you are lonely and sad because the person you made your world is living his life. Not only that, no one wants to be in someone else’s world. It’s fun in the beginning but it becomes consuming quickly.

5. The friend who will put you in harm’s way just to be with a man. a. The scene: You are going out for drinks and your good friend is a bit overzealous with the drinks. Both of you meet a group of men. You are feeling one of the guys in the group and he asks you to go to another bar with him. Your friend isn’t able to reason, but you truly like this guy. So, you decide to leave your friend to meet this new guy. You make yourself feel better by telling her to text you when she gets home. b. Analysis: You aren’t your friend’s caretaker, but you are a friend. If. you are a friend you never want to see your friends in danger. However, if you are dick-centered you have no problem sending your friends on their merry way just to see where this chance meeting may land you. These friends can still be in your life but be wary.


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