I watched part 3 of the Real Housewives of Potomac Reunion, I am late! I saw Gizelle on my screen again. I saw the physical weight of her anger on her face. Her disgust at Monique and her anger at herself consumed her. Unfortunately, that type of hate is dragging her down. You can see it on her body. At that moment, I felt sorry for her because I realized she would never see how great she is. She let comparison steal her joy. She looked over her shoulder her entire life in envy. Wondering what other folks had in their gardens, losing sight of the rose bush growing in her garden.
The truth is When you don’t believe in your greatness, you find any standard, person, or lifestyle to make yourself wrong, ugly, undeserving, bad, or incapable. Whatever requirement you have to love yourself will always transform because it isn't the standard that brings happiness it is the decision to say I am enough that brings joy.
Comparison can be helpful. It can be a tool for people who need guidance back to themselves. You can be inspired by people, instances, and lifestyle. You can note what they are doing and incorporate that practice into your life. You can see something they are doing and want to learn more about it. However, comparing yourself to feel like shit is basically being envious of something that you can do or be.
The problem is you have to have the self-esteem to believe you can do anything you want, decide, and do it. Most people who compare themselves don’t have that. Most people find it hard to develop self-esteem. However, you have to. If you are religious, that is a task that God bestowed on you. You are responsible for seeing your brilliance through. You are responsible for that task alone. If you are not religious, can you recognize the odds of making or being you? There was a specific matching between your ancestors to make you. If one parent missed the bus by 5 minutes that could've potentially changed the path that led them to your other parent. You are here despite tremendous odds. Why would you not think you are unique and special to this world?
Believing you are worth a damn is something you have to do. Preferably, right now. You owe it to yourself. You should be able to see what you become if you believe in yourself. That's your right. If you are unsure of the how or where to start, your first step is reasoning. You realize that if you continue down the same path you will be stuck in a loop. Meaning you will make any standard or reason why you aren’t happy or don’t feel good about yourself. You will say if I lost weight, I’d love myself. Then, you will solve that problem and achieve it, then nothing happens. You aren’t happy, so you create another requirement that makes you once again feel wrong, unworthy, and unhappy. It is a vicious cycle that will continue unless you recognize the brilliance of who you are right now.
Recognizing your brilliance does not have to feel like heavy lifting. You don't have to strain yourself to do it. You can start practicing. You can find something on your body that helps you achieve things you enjoy. For example, thank you hands for giving me the ability to write this. I hope my message touches many souls and uplift them. The more you recognize the gift you already have, the better you can appreciate them and eventually love them.
Next, you realize that confidence is one decision away. In no way do I want to belittle confidence or self-esteem issues, but a decision is literally the object standing in your way. People who have self-esteem decided to love who they were. People who don’t have self-esteem are one decision away from it. Of course, there will have to be tools for upkeep, but the initial step is the decision that self-esteem is yours. It is your right, so grab the fuck out of it!