top of page

Moving Past the Pit Feeling That Tells You To Stop Pursuing Your Goals

Whenever you decide to change your life you are always met with a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach. Don't ever trust that feeling. It is a trained reaction created from trauma. Your body often seeks equilibrium and that is the same for your mind. It wants a place where it is comfortable. If it is used to pain, it wants to stay there.  If it is used to self-doubt, it wants to stay in that place of self-doubt. Your old self wants to stay where it is because those unhealthy coping mechanisms you’ve developed will be useful and in some unconscious way it knows it. So, when you are looking for a change, your body will always react adversely to new messaging because change disrupts your status quo, baseline, or equilibrium. With the change, many of you let the sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach stop you from pursuing the desired goal you so desperately want. It stops you by reminding you of all the times you were “weak”, and desperate, and shames you back to that space. To get over that hump, you have to start challenging that voice. One of the ways to do this is by realizing that anything that rises against change is your old self and or outside voices trying to pull you back. So, don’t listen because that voice has no power unless you give it power. Agreeing that you are worthless is you are empowering negativity and ultimately you are making more room for it in your mind. You also have to trust yourself and start differentiating between intuition, overthinking, and trauma. When you start a new project, you will be starting a new path. That can be a very scary feeling, and sometimes fear tricks you into thinking your intuition is your trauma response and your trauma response is your intuition. One of the ways to differentiate between those voices is by noting how each feeling feels. Often, science discounts feelings but they are important guiding tools as they point to a knowledge where there is often no language. In this case, the language you are uncovering is your panic vs your being in tune with the universe. You do that by noting how each feels different from the other. 

According to, Psychotherapist Jonathan Marshall a general note is that "Intuition, for many people, is less verbal and more silent and more textural," he said. "It's more of a sense, like a feeling or a vibe. Whereas the intellectualization, and the over-analysis, it seems to me, is a lot more chatty. It is a lot noisier... [Intuition] is not like the waves on the surface, it is more the tide beneath the waves."[1] However, it may not feel that way for you. Your gut is maybe chattier than your intuition. Your job is to self-reflect and look at moments where you felt your intuition vs moments when you were overthinking and note how differently they feel. The more you know each feeling, the easier it can become your guiding light when you are put in tough situations. Finally, you have to actively try and live with that discomfort of change until it is your norm. Seeking a new lifestyle is challenging because getting there is uncomfortable. Every choice is foreign. Every exercise is exhausting because your body and mind have never done it. Finally, every thought is telling you to stop. That is an uncomfortable position to be in, and I get why people stop. It's easier. However, you've been taking the easy route for far too long and you hate it here. So, you have to develop new muscles that will for a while feeling uncomfortable. Unfortunately, this is the process of change, but it is the reality. One way to meet this head-on is to have an understanding that this stage will be difficult. If you expect the difficulty, then prepare strategies for when you slip. When you incorporate your “two steps back” you will always stay on track. Perfection will never be attainable because we are humans and choose pleasurable experiences. However, if you build in your "slip-ups" and prepare a strategy to get out of your mess, I assure you that you will reach your goals. To recap: Moving past the pit feeling ·      Recognize the sinking feeling is a liar ·      Trust & learn yourself o   Differentiating between intuition and overthinking ·      Live in the discomfort until it becomes comfortable [1]


bottom of page