Hi there, and welcome to this week's episode of Charlie's Toolbox. Today, we are going to talk about creating a new life and the moments that inspire you to take that action. I chose this topic because it is something I am currently going through, and it's also a principle my mother taught me. Whenever she felt stagnant, unhappy, or in need of new energy, she would pivot. So, in this episode, I want to share with you the concept of pivoting and how to ensure that you are pivoting to do the work rather than running away from your problems. Let's dive in!
There will be moments in your life when you realize that the environment you once loved is crushing you or that you can no longer be around the people you once cherished. You may feel like you're not being true to yourself in your current space or relationship, or perhaps you've outgrown the job you once coveted. Suddenly, a question arises: "Is there something I should do about it?" Sometimes, the answer is an easy yes, sometimes it's a yes but with minor adjustments, and sometimes it's a no, knowing that this feeling will pass. The answers to these questions lie within you, and you will know how to respond.
In my own experience, I initially answered the question with a yes, but with minor adjustments. I made small pivots to shift the energy and emotions I was feeling. This involved changing my perspective, seeking support from my community, going to therapy, finding unconventional ways to have fun and experience joy, getting a new apartment, practicing yoga, creating distance from certain people, confiding in my community, seeking mentorship or advice on handling situations, improving my diet, incorporating meditation and journaling, and occasionally taking vacations as a small reset. I tried everything to lift my spirits, just as Solange suggested in "Cranes in the Sky," but it didn't significantly impact my energy or well-being.
At that point, I realized I needed to think bigger and take more significant action. I could have chosen to accept my circumstances and live with them, as some people do. However, I felt that I deserved more, just as you do if you find yourself in a similar rut. We all deserve to live a light, joyful, and fulfilling life, and that became my goal. So, I made another pivot and decided to move to another state.
It's important to note that this decision wasn't a one-size-fits-all solution to my happiness. Drastic changes like moving away are often not the ultimate solution to your feelings. True happiness, in its purest form, is not dependent on external circumstances. It can be cultivated at any time and in any situation. Therefore, your shift should be in support of self-care.
For instance, I chose to move to give myself more energy and time to prioritize self-care. My experiences in New York had taken a toll on my mental and spiritual well-being. I constantly felt anxious and stressed, and even simple tasks became burdensome. I grew tired of struggling in the city while trying to take care of myself, so I decided to relocate to a place that was less busy, stressful, and draining. I wanted to use that newfound energy to invest in self-care, and that's exactly what I needed.
When you're considering a pivot, you must delve into the decision and understand what you truly need. In my case, I needed time and space for self-care, which the city couldn't provide. Hence, I moved to a place that could. You might require more challenges to combat boredom in your work, or you may need a stronger sense of community, prompting a move to an environment that fosters it. The key is to identify what is causing your distress or what you need to regain your sense of self. If you're unsure, here are some questions you can ask yourself to gain insights and learn more about yourself:
When do you feel most comfortable and authentic? What about that environment creates that sense of comfort? This question helps you uncover your needs in different spaces. When you feel most like yourself, something about the environment or the people involved can give you clues about what you may need.
If you had no limitations like finances or time, what would you be doing? This question provides insights into what you're missing in your life, and you can use this information to gradually incorporate those elements into your current situation.
Finally, is this a decision that can be easily resolved with minor adjustments, or does it require a significant lifestyle change for better self-care? This question helps you determine whether you've explored all possible solutions to address your feelings or if a major shift is necessary to prioritize your well-being. The answer lies with you.
Use these questions as tools for self-reflection, and your answers will reveal valuable information. If you're interested in learning more about the process of pivoting, stay tuned for part 2, which will be released on Sunday. In that episode, I will discuss what you need to do to prepare for a pivot and what to expect after making the change. I'll also touch on the skills you may need to bring to the table or develop to pivot successfully and find peace in that transition. Take care, everyone!