You Can’t Heal What You Refuse to Own

We are often quick to identify the faults in others. Sometimes, we are rightfully calling out negative attitudes or behaviors. On the other hand, we could just as easily be deflecting from our wrongdoings. As easily as you are able to judge others, you must be able to reflect on your actions and make the necessary amends internally.

Why is self-accountability important? Your words and actions heavily affect your relationships with others around you. Also, your approach to life ultimately determines how you address your own issues and conflicts. This is important for maintaining and building meaningful relationships, as well as pursuing your personal goals.

If you struggle with taking accountability, there are some principles to keep in mind.

• Determine your initial intentions and what is required to follow through with them.

• Acknowledge the negative feelings that might result from your actions. This can include regret, shame, or disappointment.

• Understand that your emotions are valid, but you must find healthy ways to cope with them.

• Recognize the consequences that have resulted from your actions, especially as they pertain to other people.

• Avoid shifting the blame to others or only crediting external factors as the source for your decisions.

• Apologize sincerely for the harm your actions have caused, but don’t expect forgiveness or a reward for it.

• Evaluate your principles and values so you can motivate yourself to pursue actions that align with them in the future.

There are always factors in situations we encounter that we can’t control. On the other hand, there are things we can control. Regulating your emotions and your reactions plays a major role in the process of self-accountability. Becoming defensive can often feel like a warranted reaction, especially when you feel as though blame is targeted directly toward you. Whenever we struggle with guilt and shame, we don’t want to admit to having these feelings.

As a result, we also tend to struggle with being wrong. However, admitting that you are wrong will only allow you to expand on your perspective. 

If no one takes responsibility for their actions, everyone will continue going in circles, and nothing will ever be accomplished. Self-accountability is not just essential for personal regulation, but for community building as well.

Take the Next Step, Own Yourself